Mark Twain Quotes




“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Don’t late schooling interfere with your education.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Life is short. Break the rules forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

 “A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between a dog and a man.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“The bible it is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Whenever you find yourself on the side if the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful of your life.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“It is not the size of the dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb that’s where the fruit is.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“It is better to keep your mouth dosed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell you see; I have friends in both places.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Twenty year from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slighted inconvenience from it.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Those who do not read the news are uninformed. Those that do are misinformed.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“But who prays for satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”

– Mark Twain

 

 

 “Its name is public opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of god.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Get your facts first then you can distort them as you please.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Christians go to church on Sunday to be forgiven for what they did on Saturday and will do again on Monday.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Keep away from those who try be little your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Ah, well, I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am god’s fool, and all his works must be contemplated with respect.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Age is an issue of mind over matter if you don’t mind it doesn’t matter.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something h can learn in no other way.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Buy land, they’re not making it anymore.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Always do right. This will gratify some and astonish the rest.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Censorship is telling a man he can’t have a steak just because a baby can’t chew it.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“That the author shall use the right word, not its second cousin.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“The more I learned about people, the more I like my dog.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“It’s easier to fool people than to convince them they have been fooled.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was her first.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t you’re right.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“A man is accepted in to a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow mindedness.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Do not put off till tomorrow what can be put off till day-after-tomorrow just as well.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“The secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“The trouble ain’t that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain’t distributed right.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Truth is the most valuable thing we have let us economize it.”

– Mark Twain

“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of congress. But then I repeat myself.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Anyone who stops learning is old whether twenty or eighty anyone who keeps learning stays young the greatest thing you can do is keep your mind young.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“To succeed in life you need two things ignorance and confidence.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Classic books which people praise and don’t read.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Sing like no one’s listening love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like nobody’s watching, and live like its heaven on earth.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Don’t tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don’t tell them where they know the fish.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Make memes, not war.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Now and then we had a hope. That if we lived and were good, god would permit us to be pirates.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine. Everybody drinks water.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“All generations are false, including this one.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“The motto stated a lie, if this nation has ever trusted in god that time has gone by.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Why shouldn’t truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Let us so live that when we come to die even the under taken will be sorry.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live,”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a letter saying I approved of it.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“The coldest winter I ever saw was the summer I spent in San Francisco.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole life-time. If not asked to lend money.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Laws controls the lesser man… right conduct controls the greater one.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that noah and his party did not miss the boat.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“It is just like man’s vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Cloths make the man. Naked little or no influence on society.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it’s what he descends to that shame the human race.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“If voting made any difference they wouldn’t let us do it.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smile have been.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“There are two kinds of speakers: those that are nervous, and those that are liars.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

– Mark Twain

 

 

“Action speaks louder than words.”

– Mark Twain